Expanding Your Perspective

Sometimes it is easy to be expansive and see multiple perspectives and horizons around us. The very nature of the experience invites us to appreciate the breath and depth of the diversity that is present. Other times, it is not easy to image that there is any other direction to take other than the one we believe to be right. It can be a blind spot when we do not recognize that our need to be right is a neurological bias and can be rooted deeply in an unmet need - to be seen/heard, etc.

So what to do? 1) Understand that you have unconscious biases; 2) Notice your emotions, explore your unmet needs and then own your stuff; 3) Invite yourself into a different emotional and intellectual space - Be Curious; 4) Remember there are a million different ways of experiencing a situation/event; 5) There are a number of "right" decisions and actions that could be taken; and 6) Imagine how the situation/event/decision might be experienced at least 5 varied ways. 

Ohhhhhhh and maybe wiggle your toes, if you are willing. It is an ancient practice that will do wonders for you!

Courage..... Empowerment - What Do They Really Mean?

We hear both of these words often these days. What does it mean to live them? Courage.....in latin means speaking one's mind through one's heart. When I am being courageous, it means my heart is racing, my pulse is pounding, and my palms are sweaty (and) I still voice what I know I must even when I might loose face or be on a shaky limb or fall flat on my face. 

Empowerment.......means to let go. To give another the reins to shine, to falter, to decide, to struggle, to be in the arena, not be in the audience. It means to give power away to another supporting them in finding their way (which may differ from mine), to experience their strengths and to express their unique purpose.

I invite you to choose Courage and Empowerment with your thoughts, decisions and actions in every moment. Really......what have you got to loose?

Savoring Joyful Moments

Why is it so hard to stay in a joyful moment? Yesterday as I was walking along the shores of Lake Tahoe to listen to The Beehive musical at the Lake Tahoe Shakespeare festival, I felt such joy. Joy in the beauty surrounding me, joy in the music the Lake waves made when lapping upon the sand beach, joy in the beach combers' sounds of laughter and play, and joy in being with my beloved. Within seconds of this serene moment, my mind raced to some negative thought as if to stay in this joyful moment was too much to bear, too vulnerable....As I reflected, I laughed. I have struggled to trust abundance and allow receptivity. My old unworthiness shadow crept up to say there is only so much joy to go around, the other shoe is going to drop, nothing good lasts.....Brene Brown talks about foreboding joy as a way in which we keep ourselves defended from being hurt or disappointed. When you catch yourself leaving or spoiling a joyful experience, invite yourself to come back to it, let it in, savor it, dwell on it......Why Not?

Your Life Has Meaning - How is it Going?

You are enough, you are worthy, you are a unique being! Guezzzzzzzzzz, then why, oh why, don't we feel like it? This is the one time it is appropriate to blame! It is because we are human beings...... We are complex, intelligent and feeling beings. We all share this road through life that in some way is marred by suffering, our own and those of others.  Yet, our path has the capacity to encounter great joy, laughter and connection. We have the opportunity to create our purpose, give our life meaning, live it purposely and be grateful for this weird existence. Alternatively, we can grow sour, become bitter, resort to blaming, and be judgmental. What path shall you choose with each thought, word, and action you take?

What We Resist Persists; Be Curious

When we feel resistance, we know it. We may then decide to deny, suppress, or avoid it, but it persists. Our shadow does not leave us, we may be successful for a time in getting it to fade, but it does not disappear. We turn a corner, someone says something, or we get triggered and resistance emerges. Next time you find your self experiencing resistance, what about hanging out with it for a bit? Exploring it for awhile? What about the situation and accompanying story makes you uncomfortable or edgy? What are you feeling? Have you been here before? When? You can always deny it, why not take a different path and see where it might take you? 

Befriending Yourself

Are you your "best friend"? Do you have your own back? Do you tell yourself the truth even when it is difficult to listen to or challenges your need to be right?

Do you love yourself in spite of your humanness, your flaws, your mistakes?

I invite you to befriend yourself like your kitty or dog loves you, or like your very best friend or loved one does? ..... All of you including your shadow, your dark side....life is short, isn't time to get to know yourself before it is too late?

Introducing Sassy.

Stop When You Hear Yourself Say ....... “but”

This bike ride of 16 miles had sun, wind, rain and hail all intermixed. We finished it even though there were several times we found ourselves saying “but”.......How many times in your day do you say something followed by a “but” essentially negating what you just expressed? 

As you bring your attention to how often and when you use “but”, identify what it is you are negating, distancing yourself from, judging or somehow how making a choice (or non-choice) that is disminishing to yourself and/or to others......We use “but” sometimes to avoid taking a risk, being vulnerable or expressing our true selves. The journey can be challenging and extraordinary if one can loose those “but”s!

Growth Begins Out of Your Comfort Zone

Growth, that is...getting different outcomes than what we are experiencing, does not happen in our comfort zone. We might wish it did, but arguing with reality is not very effective. In looking to create different results or experiences than you are currently generating, you have to change something you are doing, thinking or not doing! What does it mean to get out of our comfort zone? It means you need to be curious with your self and others. What assumptions do you make about others and what they think or why they are doing what they are? What underlying beliefs drive your behavior that maybe you don't need (or even believe if you became more conscious)?When go home from work, take a different route. Eat something, do something, listen to music, take a hike or walk that you haven't before. Take a risk, be vulnerable, feel some joy :)

The Circle of Life

We don't talk much with one another about death, about significant passages...Uncomfortable, such grief experienced that it closes our thoat, such relief they are no longer in pain and suffering. Today my beloved dog Tillie passed. Her hips gave out before her cancer could fully take her. My therapist, fourteen years ago, said I needed a dog. She was right, I did need Tillie. Tillie, a rescue, at 8 months, had never been on a leash, not a walk, nor had a regular meal...she found in me, a friend who understood suffering and fear. We jogged together through out Santa Fe and the desert, we hiked, snow shoed, walked and stopped to both smell flowers. She learned to eat from a bowl, her fear was so great at mealtime that she would only eat off the floor for several years. She taught me so much and blessed me with her presence. In helping her to find herself, she helped me become myself. Love you sweet pea.

Failure

Accountability is a practice. It is especially difficult when we make mistakes or failed. Being human means we will make mistakes, error and fail from time to time. We will be wrong. It is Not if, but when.

When I find myself in that position, I own my error, explore its roots, and understand its impact on others. I take responsibility for my mistake, I ask others for their feedback as well as their forgiveness. It is a practice. 

How do you treat yourself when you make a mistake? Are you curious about what you have to learn? Did something get triggered? What is your shadow saying? Did you blame someone else? We will all make mistakes and fail, how we address our errors, taking responsibility for them and whether we learn from them, is where the rubber meets the road.