Befriending Yourself

Are you your "best friend"? Do you have your own back? Do you tell yourself the truth even when it is difficult to listen to or challenges your need to be right?

Do you love yourself in spite of your humanness, your flaws, your mistakes?

I invite you to befriend yourself like your kitty or dog loves you, or like your very best friend or loved one does? ..... All of you including your shadow, your dark is short, isn't time to get to know yourself before it is too late?

Introducing Sassy.

Stop When You Hear Yourself Say ....... “but”

This bike ride of 16 miles had sun, wind, rain and hail all intermixed. We finished it even though there were several times we found ourselves saying “but”.......How many times in your day do you say something followed by a “but” essentially negating what you just expressed? 

As you bring your attention to how often and when you use “but”, identify what it is you are negating, distancing yourself from, judging or somehow how making a choice (or non-choice) that is disminishing to yourself and/or to others......We use “but” sometimes to avoid taking a risk, being vulnerable or expressing our true selves. The journey can be challenging and extraordinary if one can loose those “but”s!

Growth Begins Out of Your Comfort Zone

Growth, that is...getting different outcomes than what we are experiencing, does not happen in our comfort zone. We might wish it did, but arguing with reality is not very effective. In looking to create different results or experiences than you are currently generating, you have to change something you are doing, thinking or not doing! What does it mean to get out of our comfort zone? It means you need to be curious with your self and others. What assumptions do you make about others and what they think or why they are doing what they are? What underlying beliefs drive your behavior that maybe you don't need (or even believe if you became more conscious)?When go home from work, take a different route. Eat something, do something, listen to music, take a hike or walk that you haven't before. Take a risk, be vulnerable, feel some joy :)

The Circle of Life

We don't talk much with one another about death, about significant passages...Uncomfortable, such grief experienced that it closes our thoat, such relief they are no longer in pain and suffering. Today my beloved dog Tillie passed. Her hips gave out before her cancer could fully take her. My therapist, fourteen years ago, said I needed a dog. She was right, I did need Tillie. Tillie, a rescue, at 8 months, had never been on a leash, not a walk, nor had a regular meal...she found in me, a friend who understood suffering and fear. We jogged together through out Santa Fe and the desert, we hiked, snow shoed, walked and stopped to both smell flowers. She learned to eat from a bowl, her fear was so great at mealtime that she would only eat off the floor for several years. She taught me so much and blessed me with her presence. In helping her to find herself, she helped me become myself. Love you sweet pea.


Accountability is a practice. It is especially difficult when we make mistakes or failed. Being human means we will make mistakes, error and fail from time to time. We will be wrong. It is Not if, but when.

When I find myself in that position, I own my error, explore its roots, and understand its impact on others. I take responsibility for my mistake, I ask others for their feedback as well as their forgiveness. It is a practice. 

How do you treat yourself when you make a mistake? Are you curious about what you have to learn? Did something get triggered? What is your shadow saying? Did you blame someone else? We will all make mistakes and fail, how we address our errors, taking responsibility for them and whether we learn from them, is where the rubber meets the road.

Showing Up

What does "Showing Up" mean? Is it a state of mind? Is it an experience? Is it a "felt" sense? Is it an activity? Is it a journey?

To me, it is all of the above. Showing up is about being in this moment and opening up to all of my senses, being aware and willing to be curious with what is occurring around me and with others. Some situations are very difficult to show up in or for. Being present means listening, being curious about differences, being accountable for one's reactions and practicing compassion (both for yourself and others). Showing up is a practice.

Turning the Page

As this new year begins, I dare to open myself up to great things coming my way. I acknowledge and embrace that I am enough, that I am worthy of love and respect, free to pursue my dreams.

I choose to release my perceived limitations, I remember that my future is not defined by the wounds of the past. I turn the page to a new chapter in my life story and cultivate a Beginner's Mind of curiosity, unlimited possibilities, and exploration.


Tillie, my dog, has cancer. A second lump was successfully removed yesterday. At 13, she is slowing down and letting us know her time with us is growing shorter. When she came to me, she was a bundle of fur, terrified of everything including eating out of a bowl. Our first walks were Tillie taking one step then diving into the bushes, followed by, me calmly pulling her out, and encouraging our next step together.  Frighten to eating from a bowl, for the first few years we fed her off the floor so she could feel safer and develop confidence. It took time and care to help her heal from whatever caused to be terrified of a bowl. She eats out of a raised dish now.

We shared a joy of running, hiking, snow shoeing and being outside. She awoke every morning smiling. On walks, she loved taking long sniffs at flowers seemingly enjoying their fragrances. She has taught so much: 1) Love and kindness can heal even the worst wounds; 2) Being present and embracing life is aliveness and allows creativity to flourish; 3) Play and laughter energizes us; 4) Giving, allowing and receiving affection nurtures our souls and feeds contentment; 5) Being someone's friend, feeling a sense of belonging and meaning in one's life is essential to our well-being. 

In Default Mode?

Default mode is good until it becomes a barrier and excuse to not taking the risk to be you. Living life begins inside of yourself and taking risks to express and be yourself. Rio, my cat, loved taking risks and showing what he could do. What it means to be you feels and looks different for everyone. Being you may not be leaping up and scaling the door to balance on its edge.........And find out what it is! Explore what makes you energized and what feeds is short, invest in You!

Walking With Stillness

As you walk from room to room in your home, or travel from place to place, notice each moment as you move. Relax into your breathing, discovering a comfortable easeful rhythm of breathing as you move. Feel your breath as it refreshes your body and invite your shoulders, neck and jaw to let go some of the tension stored there. As you walk, notice your surroundings..... let the sights and sounds ebb and flow through your consciousness.  Experience the transition of traveling from one step to another. Notice the differences and the similarities in between your right side and left foot motion. Is there a space that both can harmonize?Sense how you relate to various enclosures and open spaces and the activities within each place you move through.

What comes up for you? How does this practice alter your travels or movement?